Finding light in the Holiday Season
For many of us, holidays are nostalgic and bring up many happy memories and traditions. Yet, for many others it is a time of mixed emotions where we think about those loved ones who have died or family conflicts or traumas that have arisen in the past years or in past holiday seasons. Maybe the blending of families is difficult to navigate, and you are not seeing eye to eye with even your closest support people. Or it could be the idea of coming together to eat a large meal that is particularly overwhelming if you have experience with an eating disorder. Holidays are often focused on eating. There is baking cookies, breads, and pies, preparing the Thanksgiving meal or even the brunch on Christmas morning. The packed social calendar of holiday parties, work events and family get-togethers can feel very hectic and obligatory or can excite or energize. It is an important time to think about balancing all the people and events in your life.
A 2023 survey by the American Psychological Association found that 89% of U.S. adults feel stressed during the holiday season, with 41 % reporting higher stress levels than other times of the year. This stress may cause depression, anxiety, or substance misuse.
Some signs that you are struggling during the holiday season include, but are not limited to:
Not feeling like you are in the “holiday spirit”. Being surrounded by “cheer” and holiday decorations but not feeling very social.
Feeling overwhelmed by grief and loss .
Feeling the financial and emotional stress about giving and receiving gifts.
Feeling pressure to participate in social activities and at the same time, you don’t want to.
You are alone and isolating.
Due to the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, many people muscle their way through the activities, but it does not have to be such a negative experience. There are several things you can do to take care of yourself and not feel burned out.
It’s o.k. to say NO to events. People try to go to every holiday party they are invited to, which can be 2-3 in one day or evening. Pick the event which is most meaningful to you and where you are most comfortable. Surround yourself with the people who fuel you, not those who deplete you. People that are hosting holiday parties understand that there are conflicts during this time. Prioritize the people and activities that bring you joy.
If you are in a situation where one member of the group turns a conversation into a family feud or work argument, take a break. There is no shame in stepping away from stressful situations and either going into another room or stepping outside.
Stay in your routine. Prioritize self-care. Focus on getting enough sleep, exercise and eating balanced meals.
Get some fresh air and sunlight. Even if you are someone who does not like the cold, getting outside can help relax you and lift your mood. Walking outside in the sunlight has proven to be an excellent calming tool. Spending time in nature can help with concentration, improved mental energy and lower levels of inflammation in your joints.
As mentioned earlier, grieving the loss of a loved one can feel very intense during the holiday season. This can be especially true for someone experiencing their first holiday without that loved one. It is important to honor and celebrate them with getting together with family and friends who share your traditions and know their life stories.
Financial stress can be overwhelming even when it is not the holiday season. Make sure you stay within your budget so that over-spending does not leave you stressed as you get into the new year. Consider Secret Santa instead of buying gifts for everyone. Also consider homemade gifts or handmade items that may carry more meaning to the people receiving them.
If you currently are in therapy, make time to have regularly scheduled appointments during the holiday season. Make this a priority. If you normally do in person appointments, ask your therapist if you can meet virtually to save a little travel time.
The holidays do not have to be negative or stressful. Take time to understand what causes you stress during the holidays and make some adjustments to have the best holiday season ever. Happy Holidays!!
